Harry & Luna

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Rorschach's Blot - Larceny, Lechery, and Luna Lovegood!
Chapter 2 - Bloody Messages

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Disclaimer: It is generally a good idea to know the customs of the culture you're living in.

Bloody Messages

With the help of a few pepper-up potions, Harry managed to continue his studies until lunch.

"You coming down to the great hall, Mate?" Ron asked as he got up from his bed.

"You go ahead," Harry mumbled. "I'm gonna study a bit longer."

Harry got in a few more minutes of study before he was interrupted again, "Harry?"

"I'll get something later," Harry mumbled, his eyes glued to the page. "You go ahead."

"Um, there's someone in the common room that wants to meet with you."

"Hmmm?" Harry looked up. "Oh, hi, Neville, what did you need?"

"Ron's dad is in the common room and he wants to have a meeting with you," Neville replied.

"Thanks, Neville," Harry said slowly. "I wonder what he wants."

"I don't know," Neville said with a shrug.

"I'd better go meet with him then," Harry said as he closed his book. After carefully placing his family books back in the heavily warded trunk, Harry walked down to the common room.

"Hello, Harry," Arthur called out as Harry walked down the stairs.

"You wanted to speak with me, Mr. Weasley?" Harry asked nervously.

"Yes, I did," Arthur agreed. "Have a seat Harry."

"What's this all about?"

"Molly received an owl today," Arthur replied.

"Oh?" Harry squeaked.

"Yes," Arthur said with a nod. "The owl gave her a magazine containing several pictures of Molly and I engaged in several activities."

"Really?" Harry was beginning to sweat.

"And she was worried that you might be confused at what you saw," Arthur finished. "So she sent me here to answer any of your questions."

"Huh?" Harry asked in shock.

"Now I realise that you didn't exactly have a normal upbringing so if you'd like me to start with the basics then that's fine," Arthur prompted gently.

"No… I… uh, how did you know it was me that sent you that owl?" Harry managed to stammer.

"Your owl is very distinct," Arthur explained. "I'd suggest using a school owl if you don't want it to be traced back to you."

"We did use a school owl," Harry replied quickly.

"Hmmm, guess that explains all the blood," Arthur muttered. "None the less it was Hedwig that delivered the magazine."

"Oh," Harry said dumbly. "I… we'd thought that it was someone using Polyjuice or something."

"No, it was Molly and I insuring a good harvest," Arthur said with a smile. "Good times."

"Insuring a good harvest?"

"Weasley family magic is based around love and fertility," Arthur explained. "One of the things we can use it for is to insure that farmers have a good harvest, not that we've been able to charge for it since the statute, but that's another story."

"What do you mean charge for it?"

"Before wizards separated themselves from the muggle world, the Weasley family made a very good living by charging farmers a percentage of their crops in exchange for guaranteeing a good harvest. Shame that, with the statutes, we just do it out of generosity," Arthur replied with a grin. "It doesn't cost us anything and I think that it's the polite thing to do."

"Oh," Harry said dumbly. "I thought it was only good for getting lots of children."

"Oh, it's good for that, too," Arthur said with a grin. "One of the reasons Molly wants to give you a few of our spells."

"Ron mentioned that she was waiting till I got married," Harry commented.

"He told you that, did he?" Arthur asked with a grin. "It's because she's still holding out the hope that you'll marry Ginny so she'll wait till the last possible second to give you any of the Weasley family spells."

"Why?"

"Dowry," Arthur explained. "Giving you the spells would make you part of the family and would leave nothing to give as Ginny's dowry, Molly's just being old fashioned about things."

"What if I were to teach Ron some of my family magic?" Harry asked quickly.

"Then you'd be considered brothers," Arthur replied. "Close enough, anyway, to give someone your family magic is to bring them into your family. Incidentally, I wouldn't teach Hermione anything unless you wish to marry her."

"What?" Harry's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Why not?"

"Pureblood customs," Arthur replied with a shrug. "Men can be brought into a family and women must marry in, blame the Malfoys and their ilk for keeping that custom around."

"I still don't understand. Why they do things like that?" Harry said quickly.

"If you were to teach Hermione your family magic and then she were to… marry Neville; that would be the same as giving Neville your family magic. It's one of the reasons that Muggle born are looked down upon; they don't bring anything into a union. I don't agree with it, but many still do," Arthur said kindly.

"Why didn't Ron tell me any of this?" Harry asked quickly.

"Most likely he didn't know," Arthur replied. "I didn't spend a lot of time teaching my children outdated pureblood customs."

"Thanks, Mr. Weasley," Harry said with a weak grin. "You've helped a lot."

"Happy to help," Arthur replied. "One more thing, Harry."

"Yes?" Harry asked.

"Provided that everyone is in agreement," Arthur licked his lips, "you may feel free to teach both Hermione and my daughter your family magic."

"But I though you said…"

"Several of the Weasley family's more complex spells require more then two people," Arthur interrupted with a shrug. "Molly won't like it, but I'm sure she'd come around; it's something to think about and I just want my daughter to be happy."

"But we haven't…" Harry protested.

"I know and I trust you, Harry," Arthur said quickly. "I just wanted to make you aware of the possibility."

"Thanks, Mr. Weasley," Harry managed to stammer. "I'll… I'll keep what you told me in mind."

"Good," Arthur said with a nod. "Now, tell me how you've been. Just because Molly sent me here for something else, doesn't mean she'll accept me not asking you a few more questions."

"School has been good," Harry mumbled.

"Good," Arthur replied. "Any girls you fancy?"

"No," Harry said quickly.

"Sorry to pry," Arthur continued, "but Molly will demand information as soon as I get home and it's easier to ask than to accept the consequences of not asking. Doing well in all your classes then?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley," Harry agreed, "but I still don't like Potions."

"You have that in common with a lot of people," Arthur replied. "If you need any help then feel free to ask Molly, I'm sure that she'd be thrilled to help."

"Mrs. Weasley is good at Potions?" Harry asked in surprise.

"She got a N.E.W.T. in it," Arthur agreed, "and she has quite a bit of experience with common household potions, we… well she's always brewed rather then bought."

"Thanks, Mr. Weasley," Harry replied. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," Arthur said with a nod. "Was there anything you wanted to talk to me about?"

"No," Harry all but shouted. "But thank you."

"Then I had better be going home," Arthur groaned as he got to his feet. "Feel free to contact me at any time for any reason. Good bye, Harry."

"Bye, Mr. Weasley," Harry bid the odd man farewell. Harry waited until the older man left and then rushed back to his room to study his family techniques. He was rummaging through the bottom of the trunk when he found something surprising. It took him a bit of effort, but he managed to pry up a loose board to reveal a false bottom and concealed within were two worn pieces of parchment.

Dear Son,

If you're reading this then that means you've learned enough of the Potter family spells to learn the real Potter family spells. By now you've seen the note I've left at the top, some drivel about how I wanted to make my own way in the world or some such and if you're my son then I'm sure you'll have a good idea where this note is going. The Potters have always been a family of specialists, this is not unusual since many families specialise in one branch of magic or another. The public believes that the Potter family are ward masters of the highest calibre, and that is true to some extent. Son, it is not easy for me to put this in writing, but the Potters are a family of thieves. We are the reason that Gringotts is so paranoid about thieves, we are the reason that wizards keep their valuables locked in a vault guarded by the goblins they hate so much. I realise that this may be a shock to you but I beg you to continue reading, even if you are disgusted at the words. The first three generations of Potters were ward masters, the best that had ever existed… nearly all of them died poor. No one could fathom why they should have wards installed, what danger was their gold in? The fourth generation, a man named James decided that he would not die poor, as had those that went before him. He decided to give the world a reason to come to him, a reason for the wards that they'd ignored so long. In one night he made enough to live for a year and in the next week he made enough for five generations of Potters to live well by putting up anti-theft around several houses…

Son, there is one major rule that the Potter family has always used and it always brought us profit. The rule is, wait several years before cracking a ward that we installed. Let them believe that Potter wards are the strongest in the world and you can charge double what you could if they believed otherwise…

Your Father,

James.

Harry put down the letter and picked up the next that had been in the trunk.

Harry,

I hope that you have lived a happy life growing up, I had so many things I wanted to do and show you but I suppose that I'm not going to be able to do them. How are you liking Gryffindor? I'm sure that's your house because Potters have always been in Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw, on the outside. The Hat always wants to place them in another house and James tells me that the Potters have always been Silver Tongued enough to talk their way into a less suspicious house and speaking of Silver Tongues…I'm sorry Harry but I couldn't miss the one chance I had to make you blush. By now you've read your father's letter and you know his family trades.

Harry blinked, the letter broke off abruptly and after a minute of searching he found another on the back of the paper.

Your father and I met at Hogwarts and for the first few years there was a great deal of antipathy between us. Neither liked the other and neither could figure out why, oh we had our public reasons but neither was close to the truth. I can't think of a way to put this so I'll just say it; we both subconsciously recognized the other as competition and neither of us liked that. It may shock you to learn that James isn't the only one upholding the family trade. When I got my Hogwarts letter I had visions of looting every fortune out from under the fat wizards that didn't have the sense to protect it. What I found was Gringotts and Wards, things I considered a minor setback at best…

… in the same false compartment that you found these letters, you'll find books on every aspect of our craft along with a selection of the tools of our trade. Know that we'll be proud no matter if you decide to take up our trades or not, make us proud son.

– Your Mother,

Lily

Harry put down the letters and took a deep breath. He had never before felt closer to his parents then he had at that moment and he silently vowed to continue the family trade. What had before been vague plans solidified, Harry promised himself that the Wizarding world's long reprieve was over… a thief once again walked among them.

"I brought you back a sandwich," Hermione called out as she entered the room. "It's… why do you have that look on your face."

"Hey Hermione… uh… I've got something to tell you," Harry said with a weak grin. "And I'm not sure how you'll take it."

"What is it Harry?" Hermione asked with a frown.

"Well… Mr. Weasley came to talk to me, apparently Hedwig doesn't think I should be allowed to use any other owls and decided to take the magazine to Mrs. Weasley herself."

"Don't worry about it," Hermione waved off Harry's concerns. "I don't mind if you let slip that I was involved. Mrs. Weasley has been angry with me in the past; I'm not worried if she's angry again."

"That's not… I didn't tell Mr. Weasley that you were involved and Mrs. Weasley isn't mad, she thought that I'd be confused and sent Mr. Weasley to explain things," Harry said slowly, "and he told me something that might shock you."

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione prompted.

"I may have accidentally married you," Harry said quickly. "Sorry about that."

"What?" Hermione said flatly.

"When I showed you and Ron my family spells," Harry replied. "You did learn a couple of them didn't you?"

"Yes," Hermione agreed.

"According to Pureblood custom, that might have married us," Harry explained. "Sorry bout that."

"So you're married to Ron, too?" Hermione asked in shock.

"No," Harry said quickly. "With males, it's more of an adoption. Ron would be considered a member of the Potter family by adoption."

"So it's only women that have to marry in?" Hermione demanded, "That's the most barbaric, sexist thing I've heard today."

"Um… right?" Harry agreed, "I thought that, too?"

"I can't believe this," Hermione growled. "Does this mean I can't learn Ron's family magic?"

"You might have to learn it from me," Harry tried to appease his friend.

"Ooooh you," Hermione growled.

"Try to calm down," Harry said nervously.

"Fieri Pulus," Hermione screamed. A black light shot out of the tip of her wand and hit Harry's wand.

"You turned my wand into a rubber chicken," Harry said in shock. "I didn't even know that was possible."

"It's still a wand," Hermione said impishly. "It'll change back to normal in a few minutes… I don't like that look in your eye." Hermione tried to run but Harry was too quick for her and managed to hit her as she ran away causing the girl to squeal in shock.

"Hey, Harry, can I…" Ron walked into the room and froze at the sight of Harry smacking Hermione on the bum with a rubber chicken. "I'll come back later," Ron said calmly. With that, the redhead turned around and left without making another comment.

The two friends burst into laughter at Ron's hasty retreat. "So you're not mad at me?" Harry asked nervously.

"Why would I be?" Hermione asked with a grin. "You didn't do anything; it's just a stupid pureblood custom that no one bothered to tell us about. We'll think of something later but, for now, I think it'd be best to just set this issue aside."

"Good," Harry replied with a smile. "Where did you learn to turn a wand into a rubber chicken anyway?"

"I was working on designing a few spells for you," Hermione replied. "I know how proud you are of your father and the other Marauders and I figured that you might want a few prank spells of your own… besides, it was an interesting intellectual exercise."

"Thanks Hermione," Harry said with a grateful smile. "You're a great friend."

"I was working on spell creation anyway," Hermione said dismissively. "It was just as easy to design a few prank spells as it would have been to design anything else."

"Still, I really appreciate the thought," Harry said firmly. "I found something else in my family trunk that you might find interesting; we'll probably have to wait to tell Ron."

"Did you see the look on his face when he walked in," Hermione agreed. "I don't know what he was thinking."

"I do," Harry said with a blush. "But that's not important right now. Take a look at these letters."

AN: I don't know if I'm going to have a relationship in this fic, I might keep it a running gag that everyone keeps jumping to the wrong conclusion.

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