Harry & Ginny

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Breanie - A Different Beginning
Chapter 61 - A Hard Life

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Chapter LXI — A Hard Life

Chapter LXI — A Hard Life

James looked up from the papers that he was reading when he heard voices in the entrance way. He grinned when Sirius and Remus stepped into the living room.

"Hey, you two, this is a surprise! Taking time out of your busy lives to come visit me, eh?"

Sirius grinned. "Well, we tried. Jeesh, those papers look evil."

James rolled his eyes. "King, man he gave me a stack of them tonight."

"Ouch. Better you then me."

Remus laughed. "Figures, I bet you don't even give out too many assignments just because you don't want to mark them."

Sirius shrugged. "Why should I have to suffer through homework all over again?"

James snorted. "Never mind. So what brings you two by?"

"Actually, James, we wanted to talk to you." Remus replied as he took a seat on the couch next to his friend.

James nodded. "About what?"

Sirius sighed as he sat down. "Well, I had a chat with Harry and he mentioned that you were pulling your disappearing act again and how you said that no one would understand. Where the hell are you disappearing to, Prongs? I'm tired of trying to make excuses for you in something that I don't understand. And I'm tired of making excuses for you to Harry, because he's gets this look in his eyes … I don't want to disappoint him."

James sighed. "You guys wouldn't understand, alright. It's my thing, why does it matter what I'm doing?"

"Because it's starting to affect your life and those around you, James," Remus replied softly. "I know that you use to go out after Lily … you were gone for hours at a time. You always have, but I never questioned you. Lately however, you're gone more often and you … you come home looking exhausted and depressed. It's not only Harry that's noticed, James."

Sirius nodded. "Harry's not a kid anymore either. If you're out whoring around, just tell him. When's the last time that you've been with a woman, James? If you're paying for it, none of us can fault you."

James didn't meet Sirius' eyes then but he nodded. "Yeah, I didn't think that you'd understand."

"So it's true? You've just been out whoring?" Sirius asked.

James nodded. "Yeah … well, like you said. It's been quite a while. It seemed … wrong and I thought that you would look down upon me for it."

Remus placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "That wasn't so hard was it?"

James grinned. "No, I'm glad that you guys know. But I have to get going. I have a late night meeting tonight. Kingsley had me bring home all of this paperwork to go over ahead of time. This doesn't reassure me in any way."

Sirius laughed. "Knowing Shacklebolt, you're probably in for a long one."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Talk to you guys later." He picked up his papers and hurried out of the room. When they heard him Apparate away Sirius turned to Remus.

"Whoring around, Moony? That's something I'd resort to. Did you believe him?"

Remus shook his head. "Not a word."

Draco stood outside in the courtyard next to Harry, Blaise, Ted, Seamus, Neville, Dean, and Ron. They were discussing some key elements of the upcoming DA meeting and filling Draco in on what they had learned the following year. Draco didn't want to be impressed but he was. They had learned some serious spells and he knew from his father that they had held their own at the Department of Mysteries in June. He looked up when he heard Hermione yell out a hello to them.

"Hey Hermione, did we drag you away from studying?" Ron asked.

Hermione glared at him. "Honestly Ron, N.E.W.T.s are only one year away! It's not my fault if I want to be prepared."

"Prepared? You're more prepared then any of us but you never think that you're ready! And not to mention the crazy increase in the prefect duties!" Ron declared. "You just keep going on and on about how we have to patrol this and then we have to do this! I'm tired of it! And it's only September!"

"And they're off," Blaise murmured in Harry's ear making him grin. He wondered if his two best friends would ever stop arguing.

Hermione's eyes flashed angrily. "Well, I want to do a good job, Ronald! Something you obviously have no desire to accomplish! Half the time I don't even know why Dumbledore gave you that badge!"

"Yeah, well you know what I think? I think that you're a —"

"Oh, shut up and snog already!" Draco exclaimed.

Ron and Hermione both turned scarlet.

"Yeah, you heard me. You two are driving me bonkers! And I don't even hang out with you! Merlin knows how Potter hasn't locked you two in a room by now! Just snog or shag or something! Get the tension out of your system so we don't have to listen to it!" Draco demanded.

Ron's mouth dropped open and closed again and he shook his head. "That's … you're being … it's … ridiculous."

Hermione rolled her eyes and stomped away causing Ron to hurry after her.

Dean laughed. "Oh, Malfoy, that was so good. Those two drive everyone insane!"

Harry grinned. "I'm glad to say that after six years I can almost tune them out."

Seamus grinned. "Draco does have a point though. They need to snog. Hey, who wants to place a bet on how long it will take them?"

Harry laughed. "Sure, why not? I'll bet … twenty galleons that they'll realize they want each other before Christmas!"

Draco nodded. "Twenty it is, but I say before Halloween."

Blaise laughed. "Valentine's Day."

"Next year," Dean replied with a grin.

"New Year's Eve," Ted suggested.

Neville laughed. "Well … I'm going to say the weekend."

Seamus grinned. "Go Nev! Alright, I'm going with middle of November. Whoever is closest gets the cash?" Everyone nodded and Seamus grinned. "Excellent. Now if those two don't drive us batty first, I think it's worth our money."

Dean snorted. "It's only been six years!"

Harry nodded. "Don't remind me! Well, I've got an essay to write for tomorrow so I better get started since we've got the DA meeting later. Talk to you later." He hurried off, shaking his head at the idea that he had just bet money on how long it would take his two best friends to snog. He grinned; life was just full of surprises.

He left them in the courtyard but he didn't go to work on his essay. He instead went into his trunk and sat comfortably in the middle of the bed. He closed his eyes and brought an image of Ginny to his mind. He thought about her gorgeous hair and her big brown eyes and when he could see her clearly, he focused on her temples. He brought back his Legilimency lessons and tried to look into the image that he had produced of her and therefore into her mind. The harder he concentrated, the more the sweat dripped down his forehead. He stripped of his tee-shirt so that he would be cooler and concentrated harder.

His magic bubbled a bit and shot out like lightning but nothing happened. He couldn't feel her in his mind like he had during their one night of conversation. He had been trying to bring her back for a week now and had come up empty handed. He sighed and leaned back against the bed post when a thought suddenly entered his brain. He wondered how he had been so stupid as to not consider it before. His elementals!

He quickly called forth Armand the lion and explained how he wanted to telepathically communicate with Ginny as she had with him but he didn't know how. Armand had grinned and said that he would see to it. A few seconds later he found his mind moving along a white tunnel and following Armand who led the way and then he saw familiar brown depths and then he could feel Ginny. He couldn't see anything except that in his mind and in his heart, he could feel her.

"Gin? I think I did it." He said in his mind.

"Harry?"

"No, it's the Easter Bunny!"

He felt her roll her eyes. "Prat! You did it! I'm so proud of you! Can you see me, though?"

"No, I can just feel you. It's like a comforting sensation and a familiar one because I know that you're there. Does that make sense?" He asked.

"Yes. I can see you, of course, but that has to be because of my empathic abilities. I'll ask Emma about it. You are currently sitting on a large bed in a room that I have never seen before and without a shirt."

He laughed. "I'm in my trunk and I don't have a shirt on because when I was concentrating on trying to talk to you I was sweating. It's intense this mind magic stuff."

"It is I know. So did you have something particular to tell me?"

He shook his head as he pulled his shirt back over his head. "Not really. I just missed you."

"I miss you too. I've been doing really well with the wandless magic now. There's not really anything else for me to learn in the wandless magic category except for any new spells that I cover in school."

"That's brilliant! I'm so proud of you."

He felt her blush. "Thanks. My powers are growing definitely … among other things. So what's going on over there? Have you re-started the DA yet?"

"The first meeting is tonight and it's not really official just to you know, explain to the newcomers what it is and what we'll be covering. I think it will go well. Oh! I do have something interesting to tell you, I just made a twenty galleon bet that Ron and Hermione will snog by Christmas."

She laughed and the sound filled his mind, making him smile. "Harry James Potter! A bet! I'm so disappointed … I would have bet fifty galleons."

He laughed. "It was Seamus' idea." He quickly explained what had happened and she laughed.

"It's quite brilliant! I love that Draco just yelled out for them to go and snog already. Those two will drive everyone crazy!"

Harry grinned. "Definitely. So, not too much longer now until you're coming home? Are you happy about this?"

He felt her sigh. "Actually I'm kind of sad. I mean, of course I want to go home. I miss you and my friends and my family so much but it's such an adventure being out here. Emma is completely crazy and I love her. I'm beginning to view her as the older sister that I never had. And I'm learning so much! Did I tell you that I mastered my animagus transformation? I can become a fox now and just last night I accomplished the eagle!"

"Really? Gin, that's amazing!"

"The eagle only took me a week. I couldn't believe it! It was amazing and it felt so incredibly. I can fly around and it's wonderful. My magic is increasing and I'm changing."

"Changing?" Harry asked, wondering what she meant by that.

He felt her blush. "Well, I'm growing up, I guess. Emma told me when I first got here that empaths grow up and mature faster then normal once we start developing our magic. My growth has increased a lot."

"Growth? I'm not following this."

"Like my body, Harry … it's changing. I don't look so much like a little girl anymore. I look … grown up. I mean, I'm still growing but the changes have been pretty intense and it affects my magic and everything." She explained.

"Wow, that's really interesting. So now you look more beautiful then usual?"

He felt her blush. "Flatterer."

"Hey, can't kill a bloke for telling the truth." He felt her blush deeper and he grinned. "I can't wait to see you then. You'll be back by the first of November right?" He felt her hesitate. "Ginny?"

"Actually Harry … I might be staying a little longer then planned."

"How much longer?"

"Until New Year's Eve."

"NEW YEAR'S EVE!" He exploded. "BUT THAT'S TWO MORE MONTHS!"

"I know. Emma says that it's for my own good and that there are some things that I need to learn and work on that will need more time and that this will be the time for me to learn it."

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST FORGET WHATEVER THE HELL EMMA SAYS AND START THINKING FOR YOURSELF? DAMN IT, GIN! I WANT YOU HERE! I WANT YOU WITH ME!"

"AND WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT, HARRY? I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU BUT THIS IS A CHANCE OF A LIFETIME FOR ME! I NEED TO BE HERE AND I NEED TO LEARN! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO SELFISH?"

He sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Gin … I just … damn it, I miss you. I can barely stand being away from you for another month let alone three more! Okay, so I can communicate with you mentally now … but I just I want to hold you. I want to see you. I want to kiss you."

"I want that too, more then anything. But I'm scared."

"Of what? Me? Gin, you know that I'd never hurt you. If this is about what you saw in my dream I was just —"

"No, that's not it."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

Ginny let out a deep sigh. "It's me … it's hard to explain but it has to do with these changes that I'm going through and my emotions and my feelings and my senses. They've magnified to a huge degree."

"Okay …" Harry replied.

"When you had that dream … I felt everything. It was so huge and so overwhelming and it wasn't even real. Emma tells me that this will increase even more when I'm actually with you and when we … kiss and other stuff … it's going to be so intense. I'm afraid of the feelings and I'm afraid that the feelings will be so intense that we'll rush into something that neither of us are ready for." She replied.

Harry shook his head. "No baby, that won't happen. I would never pressure you into doing anything and you'll know if you're ready. You'll know if you want to move further and when you don't want to all you have to do is say no. You know that I'll stop. I love you."

He felt her smile. "I'm not worried about you, it's me that I'm worried about."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "Are you going to take advantage of me?"

He felt her laugh. "Maybe I will and then what would you do?"

He grinned. "I admit it would be hard to say no." When he felt her smile he grinned. "Baby, I love you, and you have nothing to worry about. Alright?"

"Alright. I love you too."

"Are you alright? I just wish that I could hold you … I always feel better when I'm holding you in my arms."

She smiled. "I wish you were too. I love you so much."

Harry jolted when he heard the banging on the roof of the trunk.

"Mate, are you in there? It's time for dinner, you know?" Ron's voice called out.

He sighed. "I'll be right up, Ron!" He called out. "Damn, well according to Ron it's time for dinner but now that I know how to talk to you we'll do this more often. Have you broken the news to your parents yet about you staying longer in New York?"

"Not yet, I'm writing them a letter tonight."

He nodded. "Alright, I'll talk to you later, Gin, love you."

She smiled. "I love you too, bye."

"Um, Gin?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I get out of your mind?"

He felt her laugh. "That would probably be good, right? Okay, concentrate on seeing me walk away and then however you got in, use it to get out."

Harry nodded. "Thanks." He focused on her retreating back and then called forth his elementals, who then shut the portal between their minds. He headed up the stairs to open the lid of the trunk for Ron. "Hey mate."

"What took you so long?"

Harry shrugged. "I was sort of zoning out, I got no where on my essay. Is it time for dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Good I'm starved."

The DA meeting went really well and a huge list of students were added to the list. The meeting itself was pretty short as it was really just an explanation and an introduction as to what it was all about. Sirius had been a big help by explaining that he would be there to help instruct when needed but that Harry was the principal teacher. Harry did notice though that there was a very beautiful girl that Draco couldn't keep his eyes off. So when the meeting was over, he pulled Draco aside.

"Hey, so what do you think?"

Draco shrugged. "It should be pretty good."

Harry grinned. "Good, so who's the beautiful girl that you haven't been able to keep your eyes off of all night?"

"What?"

Harry grinned. "You heard me. Long curly black hair, pretty grey eyes. You like her."

Draco shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter, does it? Delilah hates my guts thanks to my father."

"Delilah? Why, what's going on with your father?" Harry asked; confusion in his voice.

"Nothing, don't worry about it, alright."

"You know, Draco; I think that we've become somewhat friends over the last few weeks. Friends talk to each other." Harry said softly as he looked over at Delilah again as she left the Great Hall.

Draco sighed. "Not about this. Talk to you later, Potter."

Harry watched him walk away and looked over when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It pleased him immensely to know that he was now tall enough that he didn't have to look up to Sirius, Remus, or James. He turned and grinned at his godfather.

"Everything alright with, Draco?" Sirius asked as he watched him walk away.

Harry shrugged. "No idea. He won't talk to me. Something to do with his father though."

"Speaking of fathers, I need to talk to you about James. Come with me to my office." Sirius replied, his tone very fitting to his name.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

Sirius didn't answer and instead led the way to his office. Once they were inside and seated he sighed. "Remus and I went to go talk to him on the weekend to try to figure out what this secret was. We told him that we would understand and that he's hurting the people that he loves. Moony said something about James and how he had started disappearing right after Lily's death but he never thought anything of it because he figured that it was something he had to do. It's continued since then but Moony did agree with you on one thing, Harry. James' weird disappearances have increased ever since you had that dream about Lily. So we confronted him."

"And?" Harry asked eagerly. "Did he tell you what's going on?"

Sirius shook his head. "I told him that you were old enough to understand, Harry. I thought maybe that he was whoring around, going out and paying for sexual favours. I wouldn't blame him if he was. There hasn't been anyone since Lily and … I told him that I didn't blame him if that's where he was going and that you were old enough to understand. He didn't meet mine or Moony's eyes when he said that he didn't think we would have understood. It was just that he hadn't been with a woman in a while. James would never whore around and I know it. I mentioned it because I thought for sure he'd get angry and when he was angry, I could find out what was going on. But he simply didn't meet our eyes and said yes, he had been out whoring."

"So he's just going out and having sex? I'm sixteen! Does he think I need to be sheltered?" Harry exclaimed.

Sirius shook his head. "That's just it, Harry. He's not. I brought up the idea because that's what I thought was the way to get the truth out of him. It was wrong. He lied to us. Moony and I know it, but we have no idea where the hell he's been going."

Harry nodded. "I'm really starting to worry now that you say that. Da's not one to lie, especially not to his two best mates."

Sirius nodded. "I know. I'm worried too, as is Remus." He sighed. "I have a theory though."

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I think that he's been going to Lily's grave. Don't ask me why … I just … I think he's been going there and if he is … damn it, that's not healthy! I know he loved your mum, Harry, but she's dead! She died and he has to get over that."

Harry nodded. "Yeah … that's where you think he's going, really? I've asked him to take me to Mum's grave more times than I can remember and he's always avoided it."

Sirius nodded. "That's odd … well, Remus and I decided that if we don't find out by Christmas we're going to follow him."

"Why Christmas?"

"Because we both think that that's more then enough time for him to realize that we're here for him and that he can trust us."

"Sounds good to me."

Sirius grinned. "I just thought that you should know. I know it's been bothering you for a while."

"Yeah, it has. Thanks."

"No problem. Hey, anything new with that weird image thing?" Sirius asked.

Harry laughed. "Actually …" he trailed off as he thought about his new ability with Ginny. Did he really want anyone to know? He grinned; he would talk to Ginny about it and see. "Yeah, it's gone now. I have no idea what was going on. Maybe I was stressed or something."

"Uh-huh," Sirius said with a grin. "Funny that I don't believe you. But you're obviously not worried about it anymore so I'll leave it be. For now."

Harry grinned. "Thanks. I'm not ready to share this yet."

Sirius nodded. "No problem. I'm here when you need me."

"Thanks. I guess I better go start that essay that Aunt Lexy assigned."

Sirius grimaced. "An essay? Already? I better have a word with her."

Harry laughed. "I doubt she'll listen. Talk to you later."

"See you, kid."

Harry headed back to the common room, wondering if his godfather was right. Was his father really going to visit his mother's grave? He sighed; he wished he knew what was going through his father's mind at the moment. But he knew that until James was ready to share the news, they would all be kept in the dark.

The month of September went by quickly after that and soon October was fast approaching. Quidditch practices had started up and Harry wasn't sure what he was going to do for a chaser. They needed both beaters and two new chasers. He had been hoping that Ginny would be able to join the team but it wasn't looking likely since she wouldn't be back in time. In the end, as team captain he used Katie's help to choose Seamus Finnegan and Demelza Robbins as chasers and then surprisingly, Denis and Colin Creevey for the beaters.

The DA was going surprisingly well. They met twice a week, once for the primary group and once for the advanced group. Sirius was helping by going around to help people learn the spell with Harry as he could not be there to help everyone. It went well and he was surprised at how quickly everyone was learning. He was pleased with the club and he knew that it was well-worth his time. Draco was learning a lot as well and even though he still refused to comment on Delilah, Harry had a feeling that there was something else there, something else that was bothering him quite a bit. He figured that once Draco actually sat down and realized that he had friends now, then he would turn to him for advice.

Classes were going well and even though Harry did find a large increase in his homework, it wasn't really any harder then the year before. He figured that had a lot to do with his elementals as well. Snape was still being pretty evil and to Harry's surprise he was also being incredibly rude to Draco. He picked on him almost as much as he did Harry. He was surprised by this as Draco had always been his favourite student, but he had a feeling that Snape would see it as a way of showing that he was against his decision. Draco still didn't know anything about Snape or the Order so Snape was still pretending to be a Death Eater for Draco's eyes.

Sirius' class was still the most interesting as he was fun and worked to make the class fun. They would always spend the first half of the class making notes and having a discussion on the topic but then they would learn a spell about the defence. They would practice in pairs and at the end of every class they would have a tournament and the winner would get twenty points to their house. Everyone enjoyed his classes, especially when he was interrupted as he had fun teasing whoever entered the class. It was also interesting that Lexy and Sirius were both professors.

Harry remembered that he had arrived at DADA early one day as he wanted to talk to Sirius about the DA before class and he had found Lexy sitting on Sirius' desk, her legs wrapped around his waist as they snogged passionately. He had began to slowly make his way out of the room when he heard Sirius suggest something outrageous to his wife … something about locking the door and 'christening' the desk before class started. But his idea didn't happen because students began to pile in. There were loud whistles from the kiss and Sirius had grinned, yanked Lexy to her feet and dipped her before he kissed her again. The class had loved it.

Sirius was also seen as Hogwarts Sexiest Professor. Every girl in school had a crush on him and he knew it. He was nice about it, winking and casually flirting with girls enough to make them sigh and to make his wife roll her eyes. He enjoyed it almost a little too much. He, however, was not the only one.

Harry was also having trouble with girls. With Ginny not there, girls seemed to come up with the idea that he was actually available. They flirted with him at all opportunities and some of them were even taking it to extremes. One of these girls was a fourth year named Romilda Vane. She had taken to mesmerizing Harry's time table and falling into step with him at all opportunities. One time, she had even managed to get him alone in a locked classroom, which he still wasn't sure how that had come about. But the next thing he knew, he was pressed against a wall and she was smiling at him flirtatiously. He had slipped away from her before she tried to kiss him and hurried out of the room, throwing his arm around a surprised Lavender, who had happened to be in the hall.

He had then avoided being alone in the halls at all costs, but Hermione warned him that Romilda was looking to getting love potions. Fred and George had come up with a few ideas in that sense and Harry now had to be careful what he ate or drank as he had no idea what kind of crazy products those two were selling to the public. He was not finding it amusing.

It wasn't only Romilda either. There were quite a few girls who seemed to think that since Ginny wasn't around he would now be interested in some fun times. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand being patient. No matter how many times he told them that he still had a girlfriend, they would not leave him alone. Hermione, Ron, and Sirius found it quite amusing and even Draco was beginning to laugh at him. He was getting incredibly frustrated and stressed over it and wondered what Ginny would think of the entire fiasco.

Cho had been casually flirting with him again as well. She wasn't insane like the rest of the girls but she was present. Just the other day she had cornered him in the Charms corridor.

"Hey, Harry."

He looked up and nodded at her. "Hi Cho. How are you?"

She smiled at him, tapping her fingers gently up his arm. "I'm doing alright. N.E.W.T.s this year and all."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I bet you're pretty busy."

"I always find time for more … fun activities." Then she had winked at him and hurried off.

Harry figured it was best all around to avoid being alone.

As for his conversations with Ginny, they tried to communicate at least every two days, but it was hard because of the time difference and because of their busy schedules. Harry was still working on trying to pay her back for intruding on his dream and shower. His moment came when he tried to connect with her first thing in the morning before class and found her dreaming. He wasn't sure what happened at first as he could feel her but she was in an unconscious state of sorts and he was confused. Then he saw her dream.

She was lying in a hammock in the backyard of the Burrow, the breeze running through her hair, which was pinned up out of her face. She was wearing a long white flowing skirt and a brown tank top. He watched in fascination as an image of himself came out from where they usually played Quidditch. He walked over to her and just stared down.

"You're so beautiful."

She blushed. "I miss you, Harry."

He focused on the image of himself, trying to connect with it and to his surprise he was suddenly looking down at Ginny from her dream image of him. He reached out, surprised when he could feel her soft skin beneath his fingers. She smiled up at him as he climbed into the hammock with her, cuddling her into his arms. She sighed in contentment.

"Kiss me."

"Always," he murmured as he brought her lips to his.

The kiss was long and sweet and it made him ache. He was inside of her mind therefore he could feel her emotions from the kiss and not to mention what it was doing to him. He slid his hands down her arms and under her tank top. He stroked her softly and she moaned in his mouth. His other hand slid down, beneath her skirt to rub gently along her thigh making her gasp and tug desperately at his shirt. Then their hands and lips were on each other as the hammock swayed gently in the breeze. Ginny let out a loud moan and nibbled gently on his earlobe and Harry groaned, burying his face in her hair.

Ginny arched beneath him, stroking her hands over his bare back and gasping at the emotions that were running through her. She had dreamed intense before but this was overwhelming, she couldn't breathe, she could barely move. She could feel Harry and taste him and smell him. It was so different from her other dreams. His hand moved over her skin and she gasped, dragging her fingers up into his hair and pulling his mouth to hers.

Just as Harry dropped his head down to her exposed skin, gliding his lips down her throat she bolted awake. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she ached all over in a good way of course. She ran her fingers through her hair, surprised to feel like she could still feel Harry's presence and then she saw his wicked grin float across her mind.

"Interesting dream, Gin."

"Harry James Potter! Were you just in my dream?"

Harry grinned wickedly. "I think that I was participating in your dream. Funny, how elementals can help me do just about anything."

"Evil."

He grinned. "Hey, payback time, love."

"Hmm … just remember who my brothers are and that revenge is just as sweet."

His eyebrow rose slightly at the tone. "Oh? Do you not think that I had the right, love?"

She sighed. "I suppose you did. Besides it was … so …"

"Real?" He supplied. "I noticed. My palms are sweating and I'm so bloody — well you get my point. Merlin, you looked amazing."

She blushed. "Thank you. It's not quite what I look like now of course, funny that I would dream myself a bit different."

"You looked amazing, incredible really and just like usual."

"Now, you're talking crazy. But I do love flattery. So what are you doing, Mr. Potter, waking me up in the middle of the night?"

He grinned. "Its morning for me."

"Uh-huh."

He laughed. "Just thought that I'd try to pay you back and I say that I did fine."

"Mmm, and interrupted my beauty sleep. But I suppose that I can forgive you since my dream was so good."

"And so sadly interrupted."

She laughed. "Yes."

"Sorry to run off, but I have to head down to breakfast and then go to class. Miss you."

"Love you. Good night, Harry."

"Love you too and goodnight, Gin."

He disappeared from her mind and she grinned, laying back down and sighing. That dream had so been worth the wait.

Hermione stepped into the prefect's bathroom with her small bag of soaps and her pyjamas. She was exhausted. It was already almost two months into the year and her workload was getting heavier. She knew on some level that it was her fault because she put so much into her work and did so much extra but that was how she learned and how she absorbed things. The prefect duties were intense this year as well. Dumbledore wanted them to patrol the corridors more frequently and to make sure that they always worked in pairs. It was because of this that her and Ron were arguing even more than usual.

She sighed and unpinned her bushy brown curls. She turned towards the huge Jacuzzi-like tub and quickly filled it up. She didn't feel like using the swimming-pool sized tub today. She just wanted to soak in a nice, long, hot bubble bath and relax. Nothing drained the tension more than a bubble bath. Once the tub was full, she quickly undressed and sank into the water. She pointed her wand at the WWN on the wall and soft jazz music came out of it. She sighed in pleasure, this was the relaxation she needed.

It wasn't only school that was stressing her out. It was Ron. Their arguments were getting downright ridiculous. Ron was picking a fight with her every other day over the most ridiculous things. Half the time she found herself screaming at him and she didn't even know why. Not to mention the fact that the more she argued with him, the more she wanted him.

She couldn't believe that after all these years, she still wanted Ron. He clearly didn't have any feelings for her or he would have made a move by now. Not to mention the fact that she had heard from Meghan Jones that Ron had been snogging Padma Patil again at every possible opportunity. Hermione pouted, lowering herself more into the tub. It wasn't fair! He didn't even really like Padma. She had just heard that Padma was loose and easy. She rubbed a hand over her aching heart … she didn't want Ron to be with other girls, touching them, making love to them.

Tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them. Merlin, she loved him so much! She dreamed of knowing what he tasted like, what it would feel like to have him hold her in those muscled arms, to be pulled up close against his broad toned chest. Ron had really grown into his lankiness that summer. He was muscled from Quidditch and he had let his hair grow just little bit longer, just enough to be shaggy. It made her want to grab a fistful and drag his lips to hers.

She almost had.

Hermione was still so embarrassed though she was positive that Ron hadn't even noticed, which didn't make her feel any better. Last night in the library, she had been arguing with him, as usual, but when he yelled back he knocked the ink pot off the table and it fell all over his shirt and in his lap. Hermione had instantly made a wet rag with her wand and tried to clean him up, dabbing at his chest. She had unbuttoned his shirt to try to clean it up and almost swallowed her tongue at the muscles and soft skin she saw there; at the beautiful red curls that covered his chest. She had been staring at him with hunger in her eyes and she knew it, her finger had brushed over his nipple and she had started to lean in, just to touch that bottom lip of his before she had caught herself. She had told him the shirt was ruined as ink stained and simply turned back to her homework as if nothing had happened.

Ron, on the other hand, had started complaining to her that it was her fault he had spilt ink all over the place and now she owed him a new uniform shirt. The argument had only gotten more heated until she had gathered up her stuff and stormed out of the library. She had ran into Harry on the way to the common room and he had only shook his head at her and told her to ignore Ron because whatever he had done to set her off this time wasn't worth it.

She sighed, closing her eyes. It just wasn't fair! Why did she feel like this, why did she feel so much for someone who couldn't possibly like her as anything but a friend?

The water had started to get chilly by now so Hermione quickly washed up and stepped out of the tub, draining the water. She rubbed lotion on herself before she reached for her robe. The towel fell to the ground just as the door to the bathroom opened.

Ron's mouth dropped open in shock as Hermione shrieked and covered herself with her robe.

"Ron! That's why the 'Do Not Disturb' sign was up!" She quickly tied her robe, her face bright red.

Ron continued to stare at her in shock. "I … I'm sorry, I mean, I just came in here to … I mean … I just wanted to take a boob, I mean bath, and … er …" His ears burned against his head. "I'll come breast-back!"

"Ron," Hermione said softly.

He turned to look at her. "Yeah?"

"It's alright, I was just leaving."

He nodded and stepped into the bathroom, his ears still burning bright red. "I didn't notice the sign, Mione, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

Hermione nodded as she picked up her bag. "It's alright. I'll see you in the morning."

She slipped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her before leaning back against it. That had just been the perfect ending to a perfect day. She sighed; maybe Ron would be interested now that he had seen her naked. She grinned at the thought and headed back to her dormitory whistling.

Draco sat in the courtyard with a journal and a quill in his hand. He wasn't sure when he had started keeping a collection of his thoughts, but he knew he had been very young. Some of the writing was so messy it was almost hard to read. Now he held the quill over a blank page wondering what he wanted to write. His thoughts had been pouring in and out of his head lately and he hadn't been able to organize them in any way. Now he figured he had to start writing to hopefully get them out.

28th October, 1996.

I don't know what to do or what I want to do. I feel like my life has been turned upside down in more ways then I could ever imagine. I've been back at school a month now and I feel like an outsider. I joke around with Potter and his friends but I just can't help but remember that they are HIS friends. They are still wary around me, even Potter himself, who tries to be convincing and get me to open up. But I wonder that if I open up and start telling him of all of the horrible things in my past I wonder if I will still be allowed safety.

I realize of course that he is not of the same mould as my parents or the Dark Lord — Voldemort, I mean. I have to remember to say it. I do agree with Potter on one thing, fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself. That's all Voldemort is, is a disgusting, disturbing thing that wants to ruin my life and has tried. But so far, I have managed to avoid him.

Then there's my parents … I always wondered deep down if they ever really loved me or cared about me in any way. My mother I thought for sure did, after all she did give birth to me so isn't that naturally supposed to create some maternal bond? Apparently, I was wrong. I never wanted to admit it of course and I had hoped. But deep down, I remember all of the horrible things that she allowed Father to do to her and to others. She knew about everything. She wasn't the ignorant little wife that Father hoped she was. I almost feel bad for her but I can't bring myself to knowing that she knows of everything that he did.

I've been having flashbacks of my past, ever since I ran into Delilah Knight and the image came of that scene I witnessed in the dungeons. The flashbacks have been more frequent and more frightening as things I had long hoped to bury keep returning. Like the night my father raped my mother. They think I don't know, but I hear things and I know things … I'm not stupid contrary to what people believe. I heard her screaming, begging him for mercy and demanding of him why he couldn't just go off to one of his whores. Or one of the many mistresses that he keeps around London. This of course, only made Father more angry and he showed her with his fists. Naturally, he took into consideration that people would notice if she had bruises and made sure it was on parts of her body that no one else would see. Considerate of it him, naturally.

It makes me sick to think that I come from someone like him. Or worse, the idea that I once worshipped him. I still wonder if I dreamed that scene in the dungeon — I look to it as the day that I lost my trust and faith in Father. But then I remember other things I saw. Like when Aunt Bella escaped from Azkaban and showed up at the manor, Mother was hardly pleased. Father on the other hand was quite happy. It only took a day for him to get her into his bed. But according to my Uncle Rudolphus, it was normal and he didn't care. Aunt Bella apparently shares herself with most of the Death Eaters and with Voldemort himself. She is a favourite of his. It makes me sick.

Then there's Delilah. Delilah Knight. She hates me all because of something that my father did. Sins of the father — is that going to haunt me for the rest of my life? It makes me wonder. She's beautiful. Incredible actually, and isn't it just my luck to fall for someone who would rather see me dead then smile at me. She's just beautiful. All of this thick long dark black curly hair that I want to get my hands into. I'm surprised, actually, because Pansy has black hair and I've never liked it. But on Delilah … it's incredible. I've had dreams of just my hands in her hair. And then there are her eyes … dark deep grey that I just love and I'm curious to see what they would look like when they were laughing. Or even just looking at me in affection, rather then a sneer. But I suppose I'm dreaming. Father raped and killed her mother … of course he wasn't the only one there but as far as I know she doesn't know that.

But she hates me and my chance there is hopeless …

But I don't have time to be wallowing in my misery. I don't even know why I wrote all that. But my mind is elsewhere I suppose … like on the flashback that I've been having of the day Father came home and told me Voldemort had returned. He said that now things were going to change and now it would be time for the people to pay for the way they had treated our family. Whatever that meant but then he arrived at the house, demanding that Father offer him a whiskey and a place to sit. Mother fell to her knees in front of him, kissing his hands and he slapped her, knocking her back. Told her she was to be punished as Father did for believing that he had really disappeared. Then he saw me standing in the doorway.

He called me forth and I remember trying to act cocky and secure but I was afraid. Father caught my attitude though and backhanded me on the way, demanding that I show respect to my master. He's not my master. I said as much and Voldemort sneered at me. He called me a handsome young lad and a brave one … and then he placed me under the Cruciatus Curse. Told me I needed to show respect to my elders. It was painful beyond measure … an experience that I can gladly say I hope to not suffer through again. I remember kneeling in front of him and him running his hand over my left arm and grinning at me. Told me that one day when I was old enough I would be worthy enough to help him. I spit on him. I don't know what made me do it. I know how dangerous he is but I did it anyway. He flipped his wand and this spiked whip appeared from the tip. Father yanked me to my feet and vanished my clothes before turning my back to Voldemort. It was painful. I could feel my flesh burning from the force of the whip. I still have the scars.

Why I am reliving all of these things I'd rather forget? I cannot say. But I do know that I am unsure as to where my life is leading. I need to put more trust in Potter and Dumbledore but, I think that I am still worried that Father will force me back and kill me. If I do not join the dark army, I will be killed. My own father warned me of this.

I have nothing else to say now as I think my mind has lightened considerably and there is a beautiful girl walking my way. The dark beauty … Delilah …

Draco put down his quill and closed his journal. He watched as she walked towards the lake, unaware that he was nearby. The weather was still warm enough that she unbuttoned the top buttons on her blouse and loosened her tie, slipping her shoes off and dipping her bare feet in the lake. She let out a sigh and leaned back in the grass, laughing when the giant squid jumped up in the middle of the lake and splashed back down. He grinned, he had never seen her laugh before and he had been right … her eyes lit up, her dimples widened. He grinned when he saw a blonde girl hurry towards her.

"Del! What are you doing? The water must be freezing!" She exclaimed.

Delilah shook her head. "No, it's refreshing! I so need this! Come on, Mandy, put your feet in!"

The girl, Mandy shook her head. "I'm not crazy like you are! Besides, what would others think?"

Delilah rolled her eyes. "Like I care what others think."

Mandy giggled. "You think you would, considering the things that Pansy says about you."

"Yeah, well Pansy can say whatever she wants about me. I know that it's not true."

Mandy grinned. "I don't know, I still think that the best one was when she tried to convince people that you had given birth to a dinosaur."

Delilah laughed. "Exactly! Why would anyone believe that? It makes her look worse then it does me."

"You look worse," Pansy squealed as she stepped up next to them. "Then what me? Because everyone knows that that's true." The three girls on either side of Pansy grinned. Avena Penn and Mala Crafton just giggled as if everything Pansy said was the honest true. Janice Langston, the other shadow of Pansy's game just sneered at her.

"Real witty," Delilah replied as she rolled her eyes.

Pansy's eyes darkened. "Listen, Knight, I saw MY Draco looking at you in the hall and I don't appreciate it. He should be looking at me like that and no one else. You better leave him alone if you know what's good for you!"

"He was looking at me, not the other way around."

She smirked. "Oh, but I know that you were looking back, who wouldn't? He has those long fingered wide palmed hands that just make you wonder and not to mention his blue eyes. Are you telling me that you actually don't find him attractive? What the hell is wrong with you, Knight? Unless of course, men aren't your style?"

Delilah rolled her eyes again. "Of course he's handsome, if you're into that golden prince look. But no I'm not interested in your boy toy, Pansy."

Draco stiffened at those words as he stayed where he was. He was no one's boy toy. The brunette next to Pansy who he knew as Janice growled.

"Pul-lease Delilah, we all know that you chase guys just to take them away from the ones who love them."

"Hey!" Mandy protested. "That is so untrue! That's clearly my job!"

Delilah laughed. "Nice one, Mandy."

"Heh, you think you're so great! But you're not! You make me sick!" Pansy replied.

"Well, then why are you here bothering me?" Delilah asked. "I was enjoying myself in peace."

"I can do anything that I want, Knight, I rule this school."

"Whatever you say. Go find your boy toy and leave me alone."

"I will. He loves me and you'll never have him!"

Draco rolled his eyes and hid behind the tree. Pansy was really starting to piss him off more then usual. He was thinking that it was because James had mentioned he might be able to get out of marrying her. He watched her and her three friends storm off and Mandy followed a few minutes later with Delilah. He sighed.

He was never going to get what he wanted.

James stood in front of Dumbledore's office, his breathing heavy. He couldn't believe that he was actually here. But the talk that he had had with Remus and Sirius a few weeks ago had really affected him more then he thought. He wasn't, of course, whoring around. He would never stoop that low and his friends knew it, which was why he wondered why they would even mention it. Where he had actually been was … no; no one would ever understand but he had kept it a secret for so long. He had to tell someone, someone who would understand him. He knocked on the door and when he heard Dumbledore call out come in he stepped inside and closed the door.

Dumbledore smiled. "Good evening, James, and what do I owe this surprise visit?"

James took a deep breath. "I have a confession to make. Something that I've been keeping a secret for a really long time and … Harry, Sirius, and Remus are starting to get suspicious and worried, more so then before."

"And what would you like me to do?" He asked.

"I thought … I hoped … that you would understand. It was my decision and I … I need to confess."

Dumbledore nodded and gestured for James to take a seat. He folded his hands in front of him, his blue eyes twinkling. "I'm always here to listen, James. What have you been hiding?"

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